I don't remember where we were. Other in a public eating place.
We were on some kind of youth trip. I was in high school at the time. And, as usual, I had done something and was being chastised for it. The pastor and his wife had several of us standing around their table and they were just giving it to me good. I don't remember what it was I did but I do remember that that was the last time I had anything to do with that youth group again until a new pastor was in our church.
Even today, I have many problems walking into that church and looking inside of a building and remembering the many times as a teenager that I was belittled, bullied, scowled at, chastised and otherwise made to feel stupid and useless inside that church alone.
Last night, during a Bible study on freedom, I brought that out for the first time ever. I let others know about this and found out I wasn't alone. The damage of feeling worthless as a kid can last a lifetime. My self-esteem has been a fragile piece of glass for as long as I can remember. Alcohol and drug abuse are memories of my wandering to find some kind of escape from my self-loathing.
But, they say that God can use evil and turn it for good. Wess Stafford's Too Small To Ignore is a highly recommended book and God has revealed through Wess' writings why Compassion has always tugged at me.
I thought a long time ago that I wanted to be a youth pastor. Well, I was close. I still do want to minister to teenagers. But God had a different idea on how he wanted me to do it.
I will be using most of my writings to emphasize teenagers who have been waiting more than six months to receive a sponsor. Like 17 year old Masab from Kenya. http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/waystosponsor/ChildBio.htm?Child=KE5040280
Teenagers have had sponsors and are now sponsorless. Many stop sponsoring for many reasons but the loss surely hurts and then not getting a new sponsor may make the teenager feel like he or she is a bad kid and unwanted.
The feeling of rejection can grow like a cancer and take ownership of its victim for a lifetime. But all it takes is one person to free a teenager from that prison of rejection.